I’m Just Not That Into You

Blog Swag Approach: Hi, I’m following your blog and I just love it! I think your readers would be very interested in my product BlahBlahBlah, here’s a link to the website for more information. I’d be happy to send you a free sample if you’d like.

Me: Hey alright, I can dig freebies!! But I checked out the website and see that the freebies are offered and available to anyone who fills in a form. And the sample is single use. So sheeeyeah, although you’re right and my blog readers probably would be interested in your product (along with a kajillion other products)–I’m going to blog about your commercial product because, because, why again? :roll:.

Link Exchange Approach #1: Hi I’m Spectacular Person and I’d like to introduce you to my Spectacular Website. I notice your blog ranks for keywords “super spectacular” and that’s just what I’m trying to rank for! Would you link to my Spectacular Blog, and when you do I’ll add your site to my sidebar?

Me: Beat it.

Link Exchange Approach #2: Hi there, I love your blog about office furniture! My blog is about fuzzy bunnies and I’d love to exchange links with you! If you add a link to me, I’ll add a link to you!!!! Here, look at me, I’m even dropping links in your blog comments because I’m so motivated to working something out with you!

Me: Where’s my delete button.

Product Promo Request: Love your blog! I wrote an ebook about Spectacular People, and I noticed that your blog is highly targeted for the same audience as my ebook. I offer an affiliate program paying 50% commissions to affiliates. If you’re interested in promoting my ebook, here’s my affiliate signup page.

Me: You’re right, I do have a crowd of perfectly targeted readers for your product…but…how do I know your ebook is any good? I’d have to buy it first and I wasn’t planning on it. Move along pal. Next.

And then…ever so occasionally…you do happen to get a winner:

Permission to Publish: Hello, I read your blog post “Super Spectacular People” and I’d like to include it in a book I’m writing titled “Spectacular Things”. Please advise what your stipulations would be to use the information and your fee scale. I look forward to hearing back from you.

Me: OMG ARE YOU KIDDING ME–I’M BEING PUBLISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I've been trying to find my way online for more years than I care to admit.

3 thoughts to “I’m Just Not That Into You”

  1. Okay, now that’s funny–I wonder what got you thinking about that link exchange thing?

    However if you did get a request to be published, congratulations!

  2. lmao Bonnie–I wonder! The publishing part, yup that’s true. Now I haven’t seen a hard copy (book hasn’t been published yet), but I’m pretty sure it’s legit.

  3. Hilarious. And congrats on getting published. Oh before I forget, I love your blog too so wanna swap links? Just kidding. đŸ™‚

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